Top Ten Ways to Get Over your Complete Worthlessness, Uselessness

I feel so surprisingly relieved after leaving a LinkedIn group called “Recent Grads-09.” Every discussion was about how to interview well, top ten ways to get a job fast, top ten things you’re doing wrong, how to write a fabulous resume, blah blah blah. It was stressin’ me out to read that stuff.

I’m going to be real with you. Even if you perfect every single detail they tell you about being hired, you still may not get a good job. You’ll probably get a sales job where they want you to be that way. Whatever job you land by doing all that stuff will be the job you jumped through hoops for. Congrats. We love guys in business suits and short hair who are so charming. Those make great employees.

I’m just glad I’m going into a field where it is experience and personality that matters most. A field where if you did do everything those websites tell you to, it would look like you were overcompensating for whatever you actually do lack.

I’m just feeling really cynical about that job stuff because it makes people feel like crap. This is not how it’s supposed to be. You’re supposed to just do what you’re good at and make a living off of it. We’re not meant to sit in cubicles doing BS work for BS companies that are, in the end, useless.

How many times did I pretend to these kinds of companies that yes, in five years I want to be working at their firm? I was finally honest with NHA last week, telling them I want to be an urban planner. Sorry. Not going to lie to you just to get a job. If it’s not a good match, it’s not a good match. Someone else can have it. I’d rather be cleaning offices where they know I don’t want a career in it and they’re okay with that.

Another thing I hate about this career training stuff is that at the end of all of it, they say “but it’s really networking that gets you the job.” And it’s true. You gotta know people. That’s how I got my internship and my job. And guess how little my interview skills mattered with both of those?